Have you ever felt that your conversations are lacking something? Maybe they feel shallow or superficial or just don’t cause you to feel engaged. The inability to have meaningful conversations is something that many people have problems with.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with talking about normal, day-to-day things. Not every conversation has to be ground breaking and revolutionary, but the problem begins when all your conversations begin to feel repetitive or lack meaning.

So, is it possible to have more meaningful conversations with others? Of course it is, you just have to know where to start.

Offer a new topic to talk about

If you’re speaking with someone you talk with often, it’s easy to get locked into the same conversations every time you see them. To have more meaningful conversations, suggest offering a new topic and talking about something that is meaningful to you.

Instead of talking about the weather, talk about personal relationships, or dreams and desires. Give life to your conversations by talking about something you are interested about in the first place.

Start with Small Talk

Sometimes small talk can get a bad reputation, but there’s nothing wrong with starting small. Start a conversation by asking the other person about their day, maybe something interesting that happened. If you’re speaking to a stranger, ask something general, where are they from or what do they enjoy doing? Small talk is a great door which can help you step into a deeper level of conversation.

Start with something average, not too specific, and then, when you find something that you’re interesting it, you can shift the conversation towards a deeper, more meaningful tone.

Express your interest

Conversing with someone is a two-way street. This means you’ll speak and listen. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who’s always going on and on about themselves without any regard for the other. Express your interest in what the other person is saying. As you express interest in what the other person has to say, they often become more interested in what you have to say as well.

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

If you’re really looking to have more meaningful conversations, you’re going to have to talk about something meaningful to you. This means, you’ll most likely have to get vulnerable. By being vulnerable, you allow yourself to show just how much meaning you are placing behind your words and the conversation. Oftentimes, the other person will appreciate your ability to express yourself in such a vulnerable way and they, in turn, will do the same.

Listen

This one may seem obvious, but a lot of conversations can go sideways because people don’t listen. Either, the person has no interested in the conversation, or is focused more on themselves than on what someone else has to say. To avoid being that person, place yourself in a listening mode, responding when the conversation calls for it. Having a deep conversation means taking turns being both the speaker and the listener and exploring something deeper than every day small talk.

Offer advice

Offering advice can show the person you are conversing with that, not only are you listening to them, but you are also interested in what they have to say. They may not always take the advice, but offering does much more than suggest a solution. It tells the other person that you care about their lives and that you are someone they can talk to about important and meaningful topics.

Be thoughtful

While conversing, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Show empathy and thoughtfulness. If they’re going through a difficult time, try and see how they may feel. Try to imagine how they are seeing a situation by adopting their perspective.

Ask open ended questions

Don’t cut the conversation short just yet! Ask open ended questions and invite the other person to express themselves and engage in the conversation. Ask them how they feel about a certain situation or thing and throw your own opinions out there as well.  

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In the end…

When it comes to having a meaningful conversation, there are many ways you can go about doing this. Think of new and exciting topics, explore things you haven’t before and see where they lead you. There’s no need to stay stuck in the same conversational cycle. Step out of your comfort zone, express yourself in a meaningful way, and invite others to do the same!