Self-love is an important aspect to our lives. Without it, it’s very difficult to feel confidence in ourselves and our abilities to follow our dreams. When we are able to fully love who we are, we show up the world feeling confidence, energized and motivated to achieve the things we put our minds to.
Self-love is not a ‘one size fits all’ sort of thing. One person’s definition of self-love may be completely different from another’s, and this is perfectly alright. Self-love is all about exploring and discovering what makes you feel your absolute best. It’s all about engaging in the activities that make you light up inside.
It’s important to note that self-love doesn’t always mean buying yourself new things or going on a solo date to your favorite restaurant, (although these can be great ways to show yourself some love.) sometimes self love just means giving yourself a much needed break and nourishing your physical and mental wellbeing. Self-love is ultimately about engaging in activities that makes you feel refreshed, rejuvenated and at peace with yourself.
Related Post: 53 Self-Care Affirmations to Boost Self-Love (+printable)
Is Self-Love Important?
Absolutely! If we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves it becomes incredibly hard to lead a fulfilling life. Imagine living in a house with a roommate your despise. It’s irritating, frustrating and downright painful to be in the same room as them. Now imagine that person is you. If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, how could you possibly enjoy your own company and live your best life?
That’s why it’s so important to create a healthy and loving relationship with yourself. When you are able to sit down with yourself and enjoy your own company, you suddenly feel more refreshed and excited for life.
Hopefully this shows just how important cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself is. Imagine you’re a beautiful flower and self-love is the water that nourishes you. It’s very difficult to live a bright and expressive life without it.
How do you cultivate self-love?
Everyone’s relationship with themselves is different. Some people grow up loving themselves completely while others struggle with low self-esteem and confidence, but no matter where you are in your self-love journey, you can always make improvements. Just like how you have to nourish relationships with friends and family to maintain healthy connections, you also have to put in the time and effort into loving yourself.
It’s also important to note that self-love isn’t narcissism. It’s about loving yourself enough that you are willing to propel yourself forward and enjoy your life to the fullest. When you are able to support yourself, it becomes much easier to go after the things you want in your life.
There is no set amount of time you have to practice self-love until the switch flips and you suddenly fall in love with yourself. The amount of time it takes for a person to learn to appreciate themselves is different for everyone, but that shouldn’t discourage you. Though it can be a long and winding journey, it can also be an enjoyable one!
So, if you’re ready to nurture yourself, give yourself a tight hug and let’s take a look at these 5 ways to practice self-love.
1. Be kind to yourself when you fail
As much as we may hate to admit it, failing is apart of life. This can be a good thing because we can learn a lot from our mistakes, but it can also be an incredibly difficult experience. It’s easy to get down on ourselves when we don’t meet our expectations but it’s important to remember that it’s not your job to be perfect, it’s just your job to be you.
It can be hard to remember that though, especially in the face of failure and rejection, but it’s important not to get down on yourself. While it’s okay to feel sad, it’s equally important to pick yourself right back up.
This doesn’t mean forcing false happiness or ignoring your sadness and disappointment, but it does mean being gentle with yourself and not beating yourself up when things get rough. Imagine talking to a child who made a mistake. You wouldn’t scream in their face and tell them what a failure they are. Instead, you’d nurture them with encouraging words, helping them to pick themselves right back up. So, why shouldn’t you take the same approach with yourself?
No one has more influence over your self-esteem then you. The words you tell yourself are ultimately the ones that determine your level of self-love and confidence. This can be a frustrating thing if you’ve been speaking negatively towards yourself, but it can also be an amazing opportunity. You have the ability to direct your thoughts and beliefs into a positive direction.
You may not believe these words at first, especially if you have a lot of negative programming, but the more you repeat these kind words, the more you’ll believe them.
Eventually, when you fail, your automatic response will be to find ways to lift yourself up, showing yourself kindness and respect. You’ll no longer see yourself as a disappointment or treat yourself as an enemy.
So, next time you find yourself stumbling and success looks far away, remember that you deserve the same kindness you’d treat others with. Shower yourself with uplifting words and pick yourself right back up.
Kind words to tell yourself
- It’s okay to stumble. I will get back up and succeed.
- I don’t need to beat myself up over this, this is only a bump in the road leading me to my next victory.
- I forgive myself for not reaching my set expectations.
- I acknowledge that I’m feeling bad right now, but I also know that this failure is making me stronger.
- I know I can succeed and I support myself entirely.
2. Go on a solo date
A fun way to start enjoying your own company is by taking yourself out on a solo date. There are some strange misconceptions about having to have a partner to go on a date (I wonder why :)) but it’s time to change that. There’s nothing wrong with going out by yourself and getting to know yourself better.
Of course, it’s wonderful to go out with friends or a partner, but just as you would look forward to a date with another person, you should be just as excited (or more) to spend time with yourself.
Next Saturday night, take yourself on a solo date. It doesn’t have to be fancy, maybe a restaurant or a movie or a pottery art class, whatever works for you.
Do whatever makes you feel your best. When you are comfortable enough to spend time with yourself without fear of judgment from others, that’s when you know that you’re on the right path.
Just like a normal date, get to know yourself better. Take some time to enjoy your own company, order your favorite food or take yourself to a new movie you want to see. Take some time to get to know the real you and build a loving relationship from there.
Solo date ideas
- Go to a new restaurant
- See a movie
- Go on a picnic with a good book
- Spend time at a café and journal out your thoughts
- Sit outside and go star gazing
- Drive to a nice spot and blast your favorite music in the car
3. Take some time out
As much fun as it can be to push yourself to be your absolute best, it’s also important to take some well deserved time out. When you don’t have energy, it’s really difficult to show up to your life feeling your absolute best.
Taking some time out doesn’t have to mean doing nothing. It can mean engaging in slow, mindful activities in order to allow your mind and body to get some well deserved rest.
This can be done through mindful practices, such as yoga, meditation or journaling.
Taking some time out can also mean going into hermit mode. Shut off the electronics for a couple hours and focus entirely on you. Maybe take the day to have an at-home meditation retreat or a spa-day. Whatever it is, make sure you’re taking care of you.
Slow activities for when you need a break
- Engage in a gentle, slow moving yoga practice
- Mindfully light your favorite scented candle
- Taking a bubble bath (maybe throw in a couple rubber ducks while you’re at it)
- Make a cup of tea and read a new book
These are only a few ideas you can do to take some time out for yourself. Any activities that make you feel refreshed and relaxed are the perfect acts of self-love for when you need a break from all the hassle of life.
4. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s
Comparison sucks. Especially when it seems to follow you everywhere. It’s easy to compare ourselves to those models on Instagram, or those guys who are rolling in hundred dollar bills (seemingly) without a care in the world.
It’s easy to get stuck in a negative mindset, constantly asking ourselves questions like, “Why am I not that successful? Compared to him I’m a loser. I should just give up now, I’ll never be on that level.” If this sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone, but these types of thoughts can be incredibly harmful to our self-love and mental health.
When these thoughts show up, it’s important to acknowledge them and let them go. You should also try your best to replace them with positive thoughts right away.
Of course this can be easier said than done, but once you get into the habit of taking a deep breath, clearing your mind and releasing comparison, just like anything else, it becomes a habit. And this is one habit you’ll definitely want to cultivate in your life.
When we constantly compare ourselves to others, it’s nearly impossible to be happy with who we are. No matter what we accomplish or receive, we’ll always want more, and while there is nothing wrong with wanting to grow, comparing ourselves to others can keep us trapped in a negative cycle of trying to win a race we’re not even apart of.
You are not like anyone else on this planet, and there will never be someone exactly like you. Your life path can inspire and encourage people even if you don’t know it and your success shouldn’t be determined by Instagram reels or the amount of re-tweets you have.
The happiness you feel should equal your success, and your happiness should come from within. It should be an authentic joy that exists within you even without all the things you believe you need to be happy.
That’s why it’s so important to get to know yourself, your real self. To know what you really like and dislike and what makes your soul happy.
5. Write a list of things you love and admire about yourself
When it’s difficult to find things to love about yourself, write a list. Keep a journal where you can brain dump, doodle or plan. When the going get’s tough, write.
There’s something about writing that allows us to express ourselves fully and completely. There is no judgment so we don’t need to limit ourselves.
When you feel that you can’t find anything to appreciate about yourself, write a list. Start with one thing you like about yourself. Maybe it’s your eyes, your skin, your determination or your bright smile. It doesn’t matter, just write it down. As you continue writing, more and more things will appear, filling up the page before you know it.
This list serves as a reminder to all the qualities you can oftentimes overlook about yourself. It shows you all the positive things you have to offer, things you can’t offer if you’re constantly feeling down about yourself.
Self-love affirmations examples.
- I love my determination and drive
- I appreciate the fact that I never give up
- I love my free spirited personality
- I love that I am patient and detail oriented
- I love my smile
- I have gorgeous hair
- I appreciate myself for wanting to create a strong bond of self-love
And if any of these affirmations don’t feel right to you, create your own. Create a mantra for when self doubt creeps up in your life so you can combat it with something uplifting and positive.
Related Post: 55 Journal Prompts to Better Your Life
Final thoughts
Self-love is not always going out to a spa or buying yourself your favorite sweater, it’s so much more than that. It’s about your mindset, how you show up to life and how you feel about yourself.
How are your mental conversations? How do you treat yourself when times get tough? Once you identify where you are in your self-love journey, you can begin to nurture yourself with kind and uplifting words.
And if you ever believe that you are not worthy of self-love, I’ll be the first one to tell you that you absolutely are! You deserve love, not only from those around you, but also from yourself. You are the most important person in your life and you’ll be with yourself as long as you live, so why not make it an enjoyable and loving experience?
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