Most of us have grown up in a society that tells us that happiness is found outside of ourselves. We are taught that we need this job to be happy, or this house, or this car and that only when we have these things, we can find happiness. However, once we obtain what we thought we needed to be happy, oftentimes, we still feel that there is something missing.

As soon as we obtain these goals and desires, we find that there is always something newer, cooler and better to chase after. Eventually, we find ourselves trapped in this cycle of chasing after the next new and improved thing, which we believe will bring us happiness. It’s true that physical things and situations can trigger happiness, but why do they make us happy?

Most likely because of the value we give them. Thus, they trigger the joy we feel. What it really boils down to is that happiness is a feeling that comes from within, and the wonderful thing about feelings is that we can (more or less) manage them, or at the very least nudge them in the right direction.

How to Start Feeling Truly Happy

True happiness comes from pausing, breathing and realizing that life is full of wonderful opportunities to choose joy. When we take a moment to stop and look around, we’ll find that there are many possibilities and opportunities every single moment to choose to be happy right now. All we need to do is be present and focus on the things that truly matter.

Mindful Breathing

Mindful breathing is a useful tool in realigning ourselves to the present moment. When we are aware of our breath, we are able to experience a state of peace, and we are able let go of our problems and difficulties, if only for a few moments.

One of the greatest thieves of joy in our lives is our negative thinking. For many of us, our thoughts are often consumed with problems and negativity.

One way to combat this type of thinking is by focusing on our breath. Our breath is a powerful tool which is often overlooked; however, our breath not only keeps us alive, but it’s also our own personal connection to the universe and the infinite opportunities for happiness it has to offer. When we focus on our breathing and truly become present with it, we find ourselves feeling more grounded and more at peace.

This is an important tool that, if used daily, will encourage more happiness into our lives. Being present allows us to become more aware of the little things that bring joy, whether it is a chat with a friend, a cup of tea, or laughing with a loved one. In this space of awareness, we realize that happiness is always within us and that we can call upon it whenever we choose.

Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breathing. You can do this anytime of the day, as soon as you wake up or before you go to sleep, or multiple times a day if you wish. Even a simple mindful practice can help encourage more joy into your life.  

Gratitude

Gratitude is another useful tool for encouraging happiness into our lives. Practicing gratitude is something that can often get overlooked. At first glance it may seem that the practice of gratitude is a waste of time, but being grateful is one of the best ways to bring more joy into our lives.

Many of us have had that feeling when we feel so blessed, even just for a short moment, that our hearts feel as though they might burst from the joy we feel. With gratitude, we can begin feeling this way in our ordinary, everyday lives whenever we choose. To be content and grateful for what you have is a powerful thing. 

It may be difficult to feel gratitude when it seems you have nothing to be grateful for; however, there is always something to feel grateful for if you just look around. Whether it’s your health, the food on your table, or a loved one, you’ll find that the more you look, the more things you’ll find to be grateful for. As you begin this practice, you’ll begin to notice all the blessings around you and feel a new appreciation and joy for life.

Take a few minutes each day to notice things that you are grateful for. It is helpful to keep a gratitude journal to become more aware of the blessings in your life. Make it a habit to find at least one thing to be grateful for each day.

Forgive yourself and others

Another thing that holds us back from feeling happy is the inability to forgive ourselves as well as others. When we’ve made a mistake, we can sometimes feel anger, immense guilt or regret and get trapped in the cycle of beating ourselves up over and over again; however, it’s important to remember that whatever mistakes we’ve made, it’s already done. Nothing gets fixed by beating ourselves up.

When we forgive ourselves, we are able to make space for new things in our lives. We are able to be at peace with ourselves and become more aware of the constant opportunities for happiness that life has to offer. When we forgive ourselves, a heavy burden is lifted from our shoulders and we are able to make space for joy.

It is also necessary to forgive those who have hurt us. This can be just as difficult as forgiving ourselves, maybe even more so. When someone has hurt us, we feel the need to hold onto anger and resentment, but at the end of the day all that bitterness is just robbing us of happiness. Though it may be difficult, forgiving others can benefit us greatly and allow space for joy.

Take the time to write on a piece of paper the things you need to forgive yourself for. Don’t dwell on them, simply write them down and let them go. You can rip up or burn the paper in a fire-proof container or in a fire pit or fireplace.

To forgive others, write a letter to each individual that has hurt you in any way. Let them know how you feel and, even if you are not ready, tell them that you forgive them. Don’t worry, it isn’t necessary for them to read the letter. It’s only a way to acknowledge and release your feelings. After you’ve finished writing the letter, let it go by destroying it.

Stop caring what others think

Another thief of joy in our lives is constantly hiding our true selves due to fear of being criticized. When we focus too much on how people perceive us, we hold ourselves back from being or doing what we want to do with our lives.

When you are constantly looking for validation from the outside world, it is very difficult to be happy. Regardless of what you do in order to gain approval from other people, there will always be someone who has a negative opinion of you.

Before you start trying to make others happy, the most important thing is that you are happy. When you are being your true self and doing what you love, you are living in a space of joy. By being happy, you encourage others to follow their dreams and make more space for joy, simply by being your true and authentic self.

Take the time to write at least one thing you like about yourself or are proud of. Focus on the positive and remember that everyone is bound to have an opinion, but it’s up to you to accept it as your truth.

Conclusion

Despite the challenges and difficulties of life, at the end of the day, life is what we make it. Things come and go but our joy is completely up to us. With so much life has to offer, and so many opportunities to find joy, why not choose to be happy?